I can't Fight this feeling anymore
by CharieK
Summary: Another Jac and Emma one-shot based around Emma's first birthday party and how Jac decided to cope.


**This is a Jac and Emma one-shot fic that started out as a comedy which I didn't think people would enjoy based on the song I can't fight this feeling anymore but I changed it to be less weird. I'm going to try to update my Sam fanfic as often as possible but my laptop is being looked at again. I also hope to write some stories on FictionPress after Christmas and New Year so I will put that into an authors note at the beginning of a new chapter at some point.**

Jac woke up on her day off to a text from Jonny.

**Emma's 1 2day. R U coming 2 visit her? Jonny X**

Jac hadn't seen Emma since she was handed to Jonny after Jac decided she couldn't cope and didn't want to be a mum anymore. Emma had seemed fine with going to live with Jonny, not that she had much choice as she was only a baby, and had soon forgotten about her mum. Jac didn't think she could ever be loved by Emma anymore because she'd felt as though she'd abandoned her only child, knowing it was her own fault.

Jac didn't reply to the text but considered going to see Emma and give her a little present. Jac decided to have a shower, get dressed and have breakfast before deciding what to do for the rest of the day. She wore loose jeans and a plain white t-shirt before going downstairs to make some special K cereal for her breakfast.

Looking at the clock Jac noticed it was 11 o'clock so she decided it was a good idea to go and see her daughter, but she had to buy a present first.

As Jac drove into Holby City Centre, knowing it was a Saturday, she was still trying to decide what to buy Emma for her birthday, deciding to go into Next to find some clothes for her daughter. She struggled to find a place to park in the busy city centre but eventually found a tight spot in a car park further away from the shopping centre than she had hoped for.

Jac walked into the children's department in the Next shop and was shocked at the amount of clothes and accessories you could buy for small children and babies. She ended up finding a red party dress which she thought looked very elegant as well as some matching shoes with small bows on the strap. As Jac walked towards the checkout she noticed a cute pink pyjama set with red love hearts on, which she thought would suit Emma so she picked up a set, complete with a top, a pair of bottoms, a pair of slippers and a matching dressing gown and headed to the counter.

"Do you have a daughter?" A happy staff member asked, who Jac immediately disliked.

"Yes." Jac answered with no emotion in her voice.

"Aww..How sweet? What's her name?" The staff member asked still smiling too much for Jac's liking.

"Emma." Jac answered, paying with her credit card and swiftly leaving the shop.

Jac then went into Marks and Spencer's to buy some food to last Jac a few days as well as picking up a small yellow teddy bear to give to Emma and a present bag as Jac would have no time to wrap any of Emma's presents.

After completing the 2 hour shopping trip, Jac drove to Jonny's house which was about half an hour away from the centre of Holby and knocked on the door, hoping it was the right house.

Jonny opened the door and was shocked to see Jac, but tried to keep it to himself. "Jac? Hi." Jonny smiled and let Jac in. "Mo's here, and so are a couple of Emma's friends from the creche and the parent child group we go to.

"Okay. I just came to drop off some presents for Emma, I hope they're the right size for her. They aren't wrapped though." Jac stated, walking through to the living room where she saw Emma and about 6 other children aged between 6 months and 2 years old.

Emma saw her mum and instantly reached her arms out to be picked up by Jac, who put the bag of presents down next to her young daughter as she was being watched by Mo from the other side of the room. Jac sat down next to Emma and smiled quickly, hoping no-one had seen before she got up and left after saying goodbye to Jonny, Mo and Emma.

Jac sat on the sofa later that night with a large glass of red wine and let her tears fall as she cried, knowing she had messed up her future and the future of her only child. She knew that Emma still loved her, but she didn't know why as she had never been a particularly good mother to Emma, even when Emma lived with her full time.

The seemingly emotionless woman went to bed crying that night knowing she would have to go into work the next day and listen to Jonny talk about the cute things Emma did on a daily basis and feel jealous of Jonny because he had the family he had always wanted, despite the fact Jac never had the same ambitions as Jonny always did.

**I would absolutely love to see more of the relationship between Jac and Emma, but we all know it won't happen anytime in the too near future. Hope this was okay. If anyone has any requests for Casualty or Holby fanfics/one-shots please let me know.**


End file.
